Recently while out for dinner, a waiter handed me my food while saying “you obviously don’t eat much”. Although I was uncomfortable at the thought that this man believed it was perfectly fine to make such a comment, I just gave a weak smile.
This was not the first time someone had randomly commented on my body, hence my need for this rant.
As a waitress, I often make dish recommendations to customers and at times I may get a reply such as “you’ve obviously never eaten it, there isn’t a pick on you” or “maybe you should eat something, yourself ha ha ha” – I of course mentally eye rolling at these morons. It’s one of those awkward things that happens to you as a server that you just play along with but really it’s draining your soul and you can’t wait to be done with that table (read more about how to survive serving here!) You might be thinking jeeze, poor you, people point out how thin you are, how awful?
Well actually, it is awful. It’s awful that people think that it is ok to comment on my weight. It’s the equivalent to them saying to larger person “you’ve obviously eaten that dish, you’re so fat”. It is not ok to comment out loud on anyone else’s body – especially not complete strangers. Leave that to the drunk girls in the toilets at a bar who become instant BFFs and compliment one another to the utmost degree. No, this is not ‘wow you have an amazing figure‘, this is ‘jesus love, you’re just skin and bones‘ – big BIG difference people. Another curious thing is that that being on the smaller side, seems to give people an even more righteous urge to blurt out whatever the hell they are thinking.
Why are we standing up for big gals but dissing the smaller ones?
Why do people and the media think it’s perfectly fine to stand up for larger women while putting ‘thinner’ girls down? Does that not completely contradict that all sizes are beautiful? I believe that the demand for ONLY ‘skinny perfect girls’ is becoming a thing of the past. People are becoming more educated in the sense that not every young girl opens a magazine, sees a tiny model and becomes physically ill to become skinny. It’s definitely there and it may always be, but it is improving and thank god for that. There are high fashion beauty campaigns with men and women of all sizes, races and religions gracing the glossy magazine pages. There are models with skin conditions like vitiligo, disabilities like cerebral palsy and other ‘real’ people storming the fashion industry and entertainment business.
Most importantly, there are wonderful humans, particularly women, encouraging one another that big/different/being YOU is beautiful and that conforming to society’s standards is not. But even stillllll ‘skinny’ women are allowed to get the hate. Michael Jeffries (CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch) very controversially explained that he does not want larger people shopping in his store, instead he only wants thin and beautiful people… (what a fucked up comment?) This came to light in 2013 which outraged a lot of people, myself included, however there is no outrage when things are reversed. I’ll remind you of some lyrics by Nicki Minaj in the undoubtedly catchy tune Anaconda.
F-ck them skinny b-tches in the club, I wanna see all the big fat ass b-tches… F-ck you if you skinny.
Fuck the skinny bitches<br> Fuck the skinny bitches in the club<br> I wanna see all the big fat-ass bitches in the muthafuckin’ club<br> Fuck you if you skinny bitches, what?!
― Nicki Minaj – Anaconda
Everyone loved that one (including me).
Meghan Trainor also told everyone she was all about that bass and not into stick-figures and that we should tell them skinny b-tches. Jaysus, seems like it’s completely fine to have a bit of a go at skinny women, in fact your song will go to number one! I’m sorry but if someone released a song telling some fat b-itches to do anything at all, there would be (and is) murder.
Bottom line: Are we allowed to shame people for being large? No. But is it ok to talk about thin women that way? Nope.
No, not ever, just shush, don’t do it, keep the thoughts to yourself, include everyone and be kind. Anyone who has something bad to say about someone else’s size is a bully. Simples.
If you’ve got big thighs and you’re a size L, because that’s just the way you are, then good for you! If you take care of yourself and treat your body right, then flaunt it gal pal.
Some people are born thin. That’s it. Skinny doesn’t always mean you eat 1.5 pieces of lettuce for every meal because you strive to look like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (although that would be lovely 😥 ).
If you’re the Ambassador of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee and a proud member of the no bra club – then yeehaw sister, me too!
If you a big momma cause you had beautiful babies and are too busy doing that – then yay for cuddley moms taking care of their babs.
People need to stop being concerned about other people’s weight, whether they are a size 6 or a size 16. If a woman is happy and healthy with her body image, she shouldn’t be subjected to hearing other people’s opinions. It is none of your business what size someone else is and it’s certainly not your place to comment.
I think we all have enough problems in this cra-zy world without having to deal with being told that we’re too skinny or too fat by a stranger (or a friend, also ew!) So just spread lovely kind words to one another, it’s way easier ♥